Vacation: part 1

After driving to Charlotte, flying to Toronto and then catching another flight to Paris... I am here! First order of business? Test out my French skills and catch a bus to another airport to meet Daniel. Boom! Done and done and I celebrated my savy Euro mass transit skills with a $15 Starbucks coffee.... wait... $15?!?! Ugh! Fast forward 3 hours later and my hottie of a hubby comes strolling through the Arrivals terminal and we are finally reunited!  

After a long smooch in the middle of the airport (one good thing about Europe is their tolerance for PDA. We could've started to undress and I don't think anyone would've even blinked twice.) we hailed a cab to take us to my family's apartment. Well, sort of. The cabbie got us to the street but then we were kind of screwed because how were we supposed to know how to get up to the actual apartment. Neither of our phones worked and it's not like my family had a banner on their balcony directing us to their apartment (which I think would've been a nice touch, but whatevs). So I did what any female with a brain would do... I told Daniel to stay put and I walked across the street to a cafe and asked a few men if I could use their phone. Of course all of the horny French men were more than eager to help a sweet little American, and within two minutes I had called my Uncle and we were on our way to meet him at the door of his building. Thank mister for the phone... can't stay for a drink, my huuuusssssband is waiting for me. Boom! Vagina wins again!  

We dropped off our things in the apartment, ate, drank, took some Benadryl and POOF! 13 hours of sleep later, we were on our way to Versailles with our sweet little Frenchie cousins. Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it’s off the palace we go! We have our train tickets, we are bundled up, we have our massive “I’m a tourist” camera… and skeeeeerrrrttt! Put on those party brakes, sugar britches… here comes the train conductor/dictator and we are getting a 60 Euro ticket. Say what?!?!  Apparently our ticket was not the ticket we needed to be on the train, and we were now breaking the law. Ummmm then why did you let us on the train?!?! Talk about a buzz kill.

I’m not exactly sure how to describe the rest without making you fall asleep, so I will just sum up the rest of our time in Paris by saying we walked a lot, drank a lot, took a ton of pictures and wrapped it up by racing to our train station at 5am so that we could catch our flight to Rome (literally racing... and this girl is built for comfort, not speed)! Next stop, ROMA! And stay tuned… because this is where the drama happens! 

ok, so I'm banned... now what?

Well, I've taken time to digest what has happened... and I've decided that this suuuuucks. I'm a newlywed. I want to act like a newlywed. I want to talk to my husband face to face, not via Skype. I want to have dinner with the person I signed a legally binding contract with. I want to get irritated that I don't have enough room in bed. (In real life this is where I take a long dramatic pause and inhale an entire glass of wine... I suggest you walk away from your computer and do the same... Immediately, because then it's like I am drinking a bottle with girlfriends and not by myself... Apparently it's a "problem" when you binge drink alone.)

So Daniel has been back in the sandbox for over a month, I am banned, living with my mother, and I am 99% sure that this also means we are not going to get to go on our honeymoon. The honeymoon was planned to be taken during Eid (a national/Muslim holiday) and we were going to go to Thailand and lay on a beach and drink our body weight in fluid ounces and make some babies. Yea, I was 99.99% sure that wasn't going to happen at all. I will be dogged if I don't get some kind of a vacation! We need a hiatus... this year has been bullshit... and I am going to literally have a mental breakdown any second now. Get me out of here! I need to see my husband! And we only have two weeks to plan this! Ahhhh!!!!!

Panicking, panicking, panicking... breathe. Ok, so we need a vacation... but where? Well being the super cute and thoughtful couple we are, we decided to meet half way. And half way from North Carolina to Saudi Arabia is.... Paris! Holla Back Frenchies! Bonjour B*tches! Buuuuut we can't just do Paris... so we will throw some Rome in there too. Paris and Rome and wine and pizza and fun and lovin'... let's go!

(Planning included checking with my family, who lives in Paris, to make sure we can crash with them and renting a cute apartment in Rome that overlooks Saint Peters Square. Boom! So excited! Stay tuned for a vacation re-cap... it gets legit!)