Ummmmm... Hi?!?! Brittany here. I looooove introductions; like, I LIVE for them. They are almost always awkward and super creepy and they leave me with a ridiculous large grin on my face (think Joker-esque) and me singing "awwwwwkk-waaaaard". I wish I could give you an introduction of myself that I LIVE to hear from other people, but I am a firm believer that awkwardness is not something that can be faked. It is a real and raw and locational (you have to be there), and without creepy body language and an uncomfortable amount of eye contact, I don't think I could pull it off. But don't you worry, I vow to share with you as many of my life's awkward encounters (without being disowned by my family and friends) as possible. It isn't always pretty (nothing ever is... and if you think it is, I want/need whatever drug you are one... and if you aren't on a drug, then you are just a liar, and not the fun kind of liar that makes me laugh, the really pointless kind of liar who needs to be shot in the love tunnel - ouch!)... so just hang on tight, keeps your hands and feet inside this crazy train at all times, because here.we.go!
Sooooo I've been contemplating on whether or not I really wanted to blog publicly or not for like a while now. I've actually had a blog, for maybe a year-ish, that I have sent to family and some friends so I could kind of test the waters on whether I am clever enough to actually engage the general public... turns out I am friggin' awesome, or at least that is what everyone has brainwashed me into believing. (Side note - I do not think my "material" is blog appropriate. Aren't blogs supposed to be uplifting or instructional or something at least the slightest bit useful? This isn't. This blog is not going to give you any helpful tips for getting the best ass of your life (although, if anyone has a link to a blog like that I would be TOTALLY interested), or tell you what you should eat to lose 10 effin' vanity pounds (seriously, if all you need to lose is 10 pounds you are fine! Fine and probably annoying as shit to all of your fat friends who have to hear you bitching about it all day when they can barely roll out of their car because their booty-do (when your tummy sticks out more than your booty do) is pressing them against the steering wheel so hard, it has created a vacuum seal). It's more like a hodge podge of hott mess on a stick; eat up beeeeeches!) So here I am, putting it all out there, like Janet Jackson at the Superbowl Halftime Show, like Britney Spears who, for so long, could not figure out how to get out of a car without showing her entire YaYa to the world... bottom line, take it or leave it (and if there is a Sweet Baby Jesus in this world, you will take it!) annnnnd because chances are you are not as epic as Janet or Britney, always wear under garments.
Name: Brittany
(B, Britt, B-Ritt, Brittany B*tch, Encyclopedia Brittanica, Ella, Lil' B, Brittany Bullfrog, Sugar, Peanut Butter... and I am sure there are a A LOT more that are used behind my back... say it to my face! say it to my face!!!)
Nationality: 'Murikan
(that's "American" for all of you non-Southerners)
Country of Residence: Saudi Arabia
(not even close to lying)
Relationship Status: Married
(finally got one to take the bait!)
Thoughts to live by: Love Others, Laugh Always, and Keep it Real
Sooooo I've been contemplating on whether or not I really wanted to blog publicly or not for like a while now. I've actually had a blog, for maybe a year-ish, that I have sent to family and some friends so I could kind of test the waters on whether I am clever enough to actually engage the general public... turns out I am friggin' awesome, or at least that is what everyone has brainwashed me into believing. (Side note - I do not think my "material" is blog appropriate. Aren't blogs supposed to be uplifting or instructional or something at least the slightest bit useful? This isn't. This blog is not going to give you any helpful tips for getting the best ass of your life (although, if anyone has a link to a blog like that I would be TOTALLY interested), or tell you what you should eat to lose 10 effin' vanity pounds (seriously, if all you need to lose is 10 pounds you are fine! Fine and probably annoying as shit to all of your fat friends who have to hear you bitching about it all day when they can barely roll out of their car because their booty-do (when your tummy sticks out more than your booty do) is pressing them against the steering wheel so hard, it has created a vacuum seal). It's more like a hodge podge of hott mess on a stick; eat up beeeeeches!) So here I am, putting it all out there, like Janet Jackson at the Superbowl Halftime Show, like Britney Spears who, for so long, could not figure out how to get out of a car without showing her entire YaYa to the world... bottom line, take it or leave it (and if there is a Sweet Baby Jesus in this world, you will take it!) annnnnd because chances are you are not as epic as Janet or Britney, always wear under garments.
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